What Sets "Confidence" Kids Apart: Their Inner Certainty

Children especially talented in the StrengthsExplorer theme of Confidence trust their own chances for success. They believe in themselves and their abilities. They take on challenges others may shy away from. You can spot this theme in action when you notice kids who speak up for themselves, and, at times, speak up for others. Their lack of fear when it comes to standing out sets this talent theme apart from others.

Many children experience a "do-it-myself" phase, but for kids with Confidence, this is more than a phase of development. They are independent and may even discover more and experience more joy when they're exploring on their own rather than following the guidance or rules someone else sets out for them. You might even notice a distinct lack of frustration with new or challenging experiences -- these aren't the kids who get flustered or look for examples before diving in. Thanks to this courage, they might, by default, be the kids other children look to.

Confidence may not seem like courage or bravery to the kid who has it. It's not about being brave in the face of challenge as much as it is believing that the newness, scariness or open public experience isn't challenging in the first place.

Describing and Accepting Confidence:

• independent
• certain
• brave
• bold
• creative
• outspoken (Don't confuse it with Presence -- the motivation isn't about audience as much as it is about cause.)
• marches to the beat of their own drum

Adults who desire to invest in children with the Confidence theme, as with other themes, should be ready with great curiosity for times the child is open. Hint: Don't give up if it's not the time you had planned. Here are some great discussion starters for kids with Confidence:

• What did you try today?
• What will be different about tomorrow?
• What is your rock-star (super hero) strength?
• What made you great today?
• When did you shine today?
• What does your teacher do really well?
• Who could make you even stronger?
• What are we (as a family) awesome at?
• What's going to be hard today?

You can affirm a child with Confidence by noticing when they're in a state of flow. For kids with Confidence, their voice, body language and presence change when they've tapped into that inner certainty.

1. Tell them specifically what's beautiful/cool/magical about them when they're certain of the way forward.

2. Set them up to be in this space again by helping them identify what worked best. What subject do they know most about? What are they sure they should be trying or doing more of?

   Allow your child with Confidence to experiment.

3. Let go of having a "right way" to do everything. Your child will want to try things on their own, and will thrive when you allow them to stumble first and redirect later.

• Set clear expectations for rules that can't be bent. Maybe a checklist of non-negotiable expectations: Is it safe? Is it true? Is it respectful?

GODOIT CHALLENGE

Grow: What can you do this week to help invest in your child with CONFIDENCE?

1. LEVEL UP! Confidence is about trusting your ability to accomplish, so lean even further into it and look for something they've already done well and ask what the next level of success is. Develop and offer 3 choices for challenges they could take on.
2. WEEKEND UPDATE: Spend 15-30 minutes making your child the guest star in a "what we need to know about your world" conversation. No reactions from you. Just ask and listen.